In my last post I mentioned needing another pet scan. I had the pet scan a few weeks ago and it was the same as always. I feel like a pro at pet scans now ha and the pet scan area at VCU is so nice. Since you have to lay still for an hour before actually having the scan they have these little rooms with a recliner, warm blankets, water, and a 3D type picture on the wall of a calming place. Its all very peaceful. So that process went fine as usual.
Well when I left from having the pet scan I got a call about an appointment the following week. I thought this must be a mistake so I called and it turned out my oncologist had also ordered a CT Scan. We had never discussed this so I emailed her questioning it and she said she wanted to get a CT scan as well to get a closer look at certain areas and make sure there was no residual cancer.
Im not going to lie, this definitely freaked me out. Why does she want another scan? Does she think there's something there? Am I going to have to start this whole process again? Soooo many questions were going through my head. I postponed the CT scan and my appointment for my results for a few weeks because I was going on a girls trip out of town and wanted to enjoy it and not be preoccupied worrying about all of this stuff and the what ifs.
I had the CT a few weeks later and it went okay. CT scans are definitely not my favorite. You would think I'd like them more because they are a much shorter process than PET scans but no thank you! Im not sure how it effects others but I always get stomach sick afterwards. Not to mention you have to drink two containers of this gross "smoothie" stuff prior. Then when I went in to get my hook up so I could be injected with the dye stuff they could not find a vein. Unfortunately my port can not be used for this process. I have always had pretty small veins and then apparently the chemo has made them extremely hard to find. After a good 15 minutes of trying and failing the nurse pulled out the ultra sound machine. I have never had that happen before but it was kind of cool! She rubbed it around my arm and I could see all of my veins at work pumping blood ha. We eventually found one and after a few pokes got in. So then you go lay down in the machine and they start injecting the dye stuff and your whole body gets this warm feeling running through it. It is sooooo weird! With the pet scan you feel nothing, you just lay there and stay still. So yea, if you ever get the choice (which I completely doubt) pick a PET scan not a CT!!
On to the results. So the scans showed the spot that Dr. Perkins and Dr. Wiedl had seen and were concerned about had not changed. This is very good news! So they think its just scaring from the chemo and will eventually go away. BUT the scans showed two new spots, one in a lymphnode in my armpit and one in a lymphnode behind my breast. These could be nothing but they could also be something. They are very very small bumps. I believe the one in my arm is 5 cmm and the one behind my breast was so small they cannot even measure it. So now I either need to get a biopsy of these and/or another scan. Dr. Wiedl is checking with the surgeons to see if they are even big enough to try and biopsy. If they are I will go through surgery and we will see what they are, if not we will do another pet and ct scan in December and see if they have grown. If they have not grown or are gone then it was just a random infection/fluke, if they grow then it could be more lymphoma. We did not discuss what would happen if it is lymphoma again but I would assume it would mean more chemo. We also did not discuss taking out my port, womp wooomp.
So overall the results were not bad but also not the clean bill of health I was looking for. It definitely could be nothing and that is what I am hoping and trying to think like it is but as I've mentioned I also like to mentally prepare myself in case its not. It feels like I have not been able to really breath for the past year and I do not think I will be able to until I have this port out of my chest and I wont be back to Massey for 3 months. As you know I try and stay positive as much as I can but I do have my down days. After hearing the results I definitely was feeling low. My friends and family were able to focus on the positive which was good but I could not get past the what if part. So that night my parents, bro and sis in law came over and we ordered pizza and watched Home Alone :). I know its not even Halloween ha but Christmas movies always make me feel better! Its little things like that that really help and remind me again how lucky I am to have the support system I do. So now time to move past the what ifs and just focus on the now until we reach the next step.
That is my update for now! I will write when I hear from Dr. Wiedl as to what my next steps are. I will also write all of these cancer notes I keep saying I'll write ha. I wrote them all in my old phone and I never have that phone on me when I start writing a blog but I swear they do exist :) .
In happy news I did my first race this weekend, the wicked 10k, and it felt so awesome to be out running again. I could not run the whole thing, and did not expect to, but that is the longest distance I have walk/run since last December, it was awesome!
I am starting to feel like my old self again energy wise and am excited to get back into filling my weeks with activities and doing more races.
As always thank you all for your continued love and support!
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