Where is that fat lady? And why isn’t she singing?

I'm ready for this cancer stuff to be over but guess that fat lady isnt ready to sing on this subject quite yet. As much as we were hoping this past pet scan would mark the end of my cancer journey it is not turning out that way. I mentioned in my last post the pet scan I had in October showed two spots, one under my arm and one in my chest. Thankfully the one in my arm is no longer there, woohoo. However, the one in my chest is and it has gotten slightly bigger than it was before. It is still on the smaller side which is good but we cant just let it hang out there and grow more, so its looking like I have to have radiation. I will have a consultation with a radiology oncologist sometime in the next week and from there they will decide how much radiation I need and when.

As one would expect this news makes me very anxious and nervous. Dr. Wiedl believes the radiation should wipe out this last bit of cancer, which is great, but now again we are going into unknown territory. I am comfortable with chemo now, well as comfortable as one can get, but I feel like I know those ropes - I know how I’ll feel after, I know where to go, I know what its like, etc… This radiation stuff is a whole new ball game. I am looking forward to my consultation so I can get a better understanding of the whole process, I think that will make me feel a lot better about the situation. I do know they do the best they can to target the cancerous cells and protect the rest of your body, so that is good. I think that is what scares me the most about radiation, not what its going to feel like now but what it could potentially mean for me in the future. Radiation puts you at a higher risk for other cancers, especially breast cancer, and it also can cause heart issues. BUT I am going to try and take everything as it comes and not think too much into the what ifs. So here we go, I’ll report back when I have more details as to what my next steps are.

In other news I also now have Raynaud’s Disease, we believe to be an effect of the chemo. I started noticing my fingers were getting numb randomly, especially when I was cold. I think I may have mentioned this in a previous post, that I was having some neuropathy and that this is common after chemo. Well its turned into my fingers and toes going completely numb and turning stark white like there’s no circulation. It tends to only happen when my hands or toes are really cold and then it goes away once they are warmed up. Its more of an annoying thing than anything else.  It is slightly painful, just hard to do things when my fingers hurt cause they are cold but like I said, once I warm them up they are good to go. Guess that just means its time to move south to warm sunshine and beaches :) The pic below is what it makes my fingers look like, crazy huh?! Raynaud's Disease is "a condition that causes some areas of your body — such as your fingers, toes, the tip of your nose and your ears — to feel numb and cool in response to cold temperatures or stress. In Raynaud's disease, smaller arteries that supply blood to your skin narrow, limiting blood circulation to affected areas." Dr. Wiedl said there is medicine for it but that it tends to make people tired and have other side effects so I decided to just deal with it and wear warm gloves. But I guess ever moving somewhere super cold is out of the question, which if you know me works out well anyways ha.

Ghost Fingers! 

Well I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the holiday season so far! I am having a great time with my new nephew, Jonah. Even though things are somewhat blah there is still a lot to be grateful for, like this cutie pie and my daddy whose birthday is today.

As always thank you for your continued prayers and support through all of this! I will be back in touch once I get more info.