Chemo 1 - What a Day

What a day, what a day. It has been a big toll emotionally but thankfully not too bad physically. I did not get much sleep last night anxious for today. I stayed up reading peoples blogs about their experiences and trying to get somewhat of a grasp of what today would be like. Dad picked me up before the crack of dawn and we were off to Massey. The first thing was getting sent back for blood work. This is what I was most nervous for, the port access. My port is still a little sore so the thought of them sticking a needle in it did not sit well with me haha. However the nurse was awesome and I told her I was nervous and she walked through each thing with me. They sprayed some kind of numbing thing on me and then BAM it was in, no real pain at all. That was a big sigh of relief after that. 

I went back and joined my dad as we began the waiting process to be called back for chemo. As we were waiting dad got a call that my Papa (his dad) passed away last night. Talk about making it the worst day ever!!! Papa was 94 and has lived a great long life but it still was not expected so it was quite a shock this morning. I dont think it has still set in for me. I felt so bad because I had shut myself off emotionally to try and deal with the chemo stuff and then this happens so I had no emotional response to give except to be sorry and sad and there for my dad. Of course my dad was understandably very upset and was worried about my grandmother. My grandmother has dementia so this is going to be very hard and confusing for her. Seeing as I was fine and had gotten the scariest part out of the way for me I told him to go ahead and go. He had called mom and she would be on her way soon. I dont care whats going on in my life, chemo or no chemo, family comes first and this is important. I can handle sitting by myself. 

So I sat for a bit, texted with friends my blahness and opened my first present!! I had a bunch of great inspirational cards from friends and with it a CD from Camille of the Best of Britney Spears, which I loooveeee and used to lift my spirits afterward. I waited and waited and waited and was starting to wonder if they forgot about me. My chemo was supposed to start at 8:30, we got there at 7:30 for all the pretests, at this point it was well after 9. I got up and went to go to the bathroom at the same time my mom came in so that was great timing. Soon after they called us back and we started the process. 

First they gave me medicine for nausea then I had to wait for 30 minutes before they could start the chemo drugs. They kept a drip of saline though to keep my port open. Oh by the way we have named my port "Port Authority" since a lot of stuff will be coming into it ha (thats the big bus station in NYC). Anywho, they did the saline for 30 minutes. Some people who have gone through this say they need to eat something at this time due to the taste of saline but I couldnt taste anything. I asked my nurse about this but she said sometimes after youve been coming for a bit your tastebuds start to acquire a taste for it where as now they dont. So I am keeping my candy on hand for when that happens. After 30 minutes she started the chemo drugs. I forget all the names off hand but will try to post them at some point. There were 4, 3 she would push into my tube/port authority herself and then the last would be a drip for 1 hour. I did not feel the first 3 at all and felt completely normal. I took sips of gatorade the whole time and munched on goldfish and pears just too keep things in my stomach just incase. The 4th one, the drip, was not too bad either. I did start to get a headache though and a copper taste in my mouth which the lollipops in my chemo goodie bag really helped. My foot got a little tingly/sleepy at one point (that is a side affect) but thankfully it didnt last too long. 

I was done around 12:30 and was feeling okay right after, I just had the headache so my mom and I decided to get some lunch. On the drive my hands got a little tingly but it went away quickly and then my lips which was really weird. We went to Chipotle, one of my favs, but I really didnt feel like eating. Some people have said they are starved afterwards but I have felt very whatever about food so far. Im not really hungry but Im not not hungry either if that makes sense but I cant eat too much. So we ate a little bit and then I felt up to going to my grandparents to see my dad and Grandma. That of course was difficult but it was nice to be around family. 

After a few hours the nausea started to kick in so we left to go to my mom's friend's house, Yvonne, where we are staying the night. The farm is far away from hospitals so I didn't want to stay there incase I get an allergic reaction or something. Yvonne graciously opened her house up to us which was so nice of her. So we headed to Yvonne's where I got directly in bed. Oddly the drugs have not made me sleepy which I am kind of sad about. Was looking forward to sleeping the afternoon away but that has not happened. Hopefully the sleep will kick in sometime soon but laying in a bed is still nice. The nausea and headache have persisted but its nothing unbearable and they come and go. The nausea medicine is helping and I am taking tylenol but I am going to ask the doctor if there is something stronger I can take. I think the headache has been the worst part of the affects today. I also will say, and I hate talking potty talk but will be honest for those who may read this that are going to go through this as well, that I have had stomach aches due to number -2. Apparently this is a very common side affect. Sorry for the TMI. 

So that is what has been going on all afternoon/evening. I am keeping my fingers crossed this is the worst of it but I think I will be veerryy lucky if that is the case. Its so very nerve racking not knowing what's coming next.  

Please keep my family in your thoughts and prayers as we go through this along with everything for my Papa. He was such an amazing man who devoted his life to caring for others and walking in Jesus' footsteps. I have been reading the "Serenity Prayer" a lot today, I find it very comforting and fitting through all of this. 

As always thank you all for your support!!!!!! 

"Serenity Prayer"

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; 
courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time; 
enjoying one moment at a time; 
accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; 
taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it; 
trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will; 
that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
forever in the next. 
Amen.