I have been thinking about when I was first diagnosed a lot lately. From my feelings after my diagnosis to how I prepared myself for treatment to how much has changed since then. I remember trying to prepare myself by googling hodgkins lymphoma blogs. I am pretty sure I stayed up all night every night reading almost every blog on hodgkins there was. I wanted to prepare myself for every possible scenario that may come about and it also was comforting knowing there were others out there going through the same thing. In fact this is one of the main reasons I started this blog, I wanted to be for others what all of those blogs were for me. However as I have progressed with my blog I have started to sock at giving updates and I was just thinking to myself how annoyed I always was when I ran into a blog that just left me hanging. Sooooo I've decided to get better at this blog thing for realz!! I am hoping to at least write a weekly blog post.
So yea, the last I wrote was 7 weeks ago (wowzers), right before my surgery. I am happy to say that the surgery went well and that the results of the surgery were great, my spot was benign. I went in for surgery early Friday morning ready to get it done and over with. I wasnt as nervous as I thought I was going to be, I actually slept the night before which isnt usually the case when I have new medical procedures the next day. Everyone I met that would be working on me that day was so nice and many of them knew one or two of my sorority sisters. Have I mentioned that I love going to a hospital where the majority of my medical professional friends work or went to school?!?! Its awesome. In fact the last thing I remember before surgery was seeing my good friend's face as I was being wheeled to the operating room. That was such a comfort.
I woke up in the recovery area and immediately started touching my chest trying to feel to see if they had to go through that way. I could not tell and was trying to ask the nurse but my voice was so scratchy from the breathing tube (they took it out before I woke up) she couldnt understand what I was saying. Eventually though she got my point and told me they didnt. I was sooo excited by this, although due to all of the drugs the excitement didnt really set in till later ha. When I got to my room my parents also brought to my attention that I did not have a chest tube. Another major woohoo! Dr. Cassano came in shortly later and told me the surgery went great and they were able to get in from the side without any major issues. I now have three incisions, two to the right of my right breast and one underneath it. He even kept in mind bathing suits and dresses, trying to make the incisions somewhere they would not be seen. You have no idea how considerate and kind that was and how great that made me feel that he actually thought about me when doing the procedure. He also told me that from his initial viewing of the tissue he did not think it was cancer. We still would have to wait for the pathology results to know for certain but he thought I was in the clear. Although this was great to hear I did not let my mind fully go there yet. I wanted the official test results before I'd let myself truly venture to that idea.
One of the greatest benefits of them not having to go through my chest or give me a chest tube was that I got to leave the hospital a lot sooner than we had initially thought. Recovery in the hospital was no bueno. There is no resting in the hospital, every few minutes there was tons of loud beeping. A floor close by was under construction so although you usually get your own room we were doubled up. This is completely understandable but the person in my room was going through dialysis, a very loud process with lots of cumbersome equipment. At one point the room got so overwhelming I just broke down. I was in so much pain, there were so many people in the room, and the noise was too much to handle. It was not a good situation. So when they said the next day that if they saw that taking the pain medicine by pill form would work for me I could go home I jumped on that.
This was my first major surgery and let me just say, recovery is the pits, the absolute pits. I don't know how people go through so many surgeries. I am so happy this is the only one I have had to do through my treatment so far. I was in so much pain for the weeks following and was hardly able to do anything. In usual Amber form I had gotten into my head that I'd be able to go into work the following Thursday with no problems. Wrong! By Thursday I was still in so much pain I wanted to up my pain medication. It is still uncomfortable to sleep on my right side. They had to collapse my lung during treatment so I also had to do multiple lung exercises daily and pay attention to my breathing. Lifting more than 5 lbs for 6 weeks was also not allowed which let me tell you is the hardest thing ever when you have the cutest baby nephew in the world that you just want to pick up all of the time.
The Wednesday after my surgery Dr. Wiedl called to tell me that Dr. Cassano was right and my spot was benign. I can't even explain all of the emotions I felt upon hearing that and I am not sure I ever will. I still have a lot of disbelief and Im not sure when that will go away. I honestly did not think it was going to be good news and had prepared myself mentally for the next round of treatment. I am so happy and lucky that it did not come to that at this time and I plan to take advantage of every minute I have healthy for the rest of my life.
I am ready to make this the best year ever and my first step towards that was participating in a First Descents program. It was such an amazing experience! I am going to talk about it in next week's post but seriously, if you know any young adults who have or who have had cancer tell them to google First Descents now. They will not regret it. On that note, if you haven't already, take a minute to read this article https://www.richmondmagazine.com/articles/first-descents-amber-berry.html in Richmond Magazine on First Descents, Massey, and me!!
Thank you times a million for all of your continued love and support!!
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