Chemo 4 and Then Some...

Before I get into the nitty gritty of things I will say I got some very good news last week! I had my PET scan check up last Monday and it showed that the cancer is basically gone. There is only one small spot that is left but that just shows us the treatment is working and by the end I should be cancer free!! So yayay!! This is great news and the greatest part about it is that I do not have to do radiation or increase my chemo. I am ecstatic about that!

So that is the latest news but since its been awhile since my last post, no surprise there ha, I will back up a bit. My last post was a few days after my third chemo treatment and things seemed to be going okay. Unfortunately things started to not go so well soon after and I did not get a "good" week that go around like I usually do. I started to get extreme nausea that Thursday. Every time I would eat I would feel so sick, even the nausea medicine was not helping me too much. I tried to keep track of what I was eating to see if there was any consistency in foods that may be making me feel gross but there was nothing that I could find. Then I thought maybe it was because I can not eat as much as I used to so maybe even though I am eating a normal amount I am over eating for my stomach. I never did figure it out though ha. That lasted from Thursday - Sunday. Finally by Sunday evening I started to feel better.

Even though I was having a blah tummy time I still fought through and decided to live up my counts being higher and have a good weekend! I did not go crazy or anything but I went to an art class and went out for most of my meals with friends and got to see one of my best friends from out of town so that was nice. Leslie, my friend who came for a visit, and I compared notes while we hung out. She is 5 months pregnant and with all of my stuff I feel like I might as well be haha. So there was some sliver lining to the blahness.

On Monday I started taking a new drug. Of course I can not remember the name but Dr. Wiedl was concerned with my counts going up and down so much that I might get a cold/flu so she prescribed me with a medication that helps fight infections. I have to take it 3 days in a row every week. I guess since my body was not used to the medication it decided to become nauseas about it ha so my day I was hoping for nausea freedom quickly faded away. Luckily though the nausea has not continued with the medicine since.

Then came Tuesday. Tuesdays are my check up days at Massey, I make sure my vitals are okay and talk with Dr. Wiedl. I expected for my counts to be a little lower but I was still keeping my fingers crossed they'd stay high enough to not be neutropenic. Well a major womp womp because they had nose dived since my visit the previous Tuesday. My white blood cell count was 1 and my neutrophil count was .1. This was alarming in general for my health but it also was a concern because I was due to have chemo on Friday and you can not have chemo when your counts are that low. So I was sent to get the bone marrow growth shot right away.

Remember how last time after the shot I said I would gladly take the pain for my counts to be up and it wasnt too bad?!?! Well I take it back! That first shot was a deceiver the little buttface. The shot was a killer this time. Tuesday evening and Wednesday morning I had a little bit of pain but by Wednesday afternoon I was in so much pain in my lower back, along with an excruciating headache. They gave me oxycodine but it did not seem to help. The doctor said I could take two pills but then I would have to be with someone at all times because it would knock me out. When I did take it if I was to try and do anything it would make me so sick to my stomach it was almost not worth it.

Those days were very hard, definitely the worst since Ive started all of this. By Thursday evening I was hoping for my counts to still be low the next day so I could not do chemo. I didnt care anymore if it threw off my schedule, I could not fathom the idea of going through this still and having to deal with chemo. On friday with help from my padres and friends I put my brave face on and headed in for chemo. Luckily the pain was not as bad as it had been. It still hurt a lot to stand or sit straight in a chair but compared to Thurs and Wed it was okay. They checked my vitals to see if my counts went up that morning and if I cant say anything nice but this about that shot it at least definitely works. My white cell counts went from 1 to 24 and my neutrophils went from .1 to 19.9. I had never even seen numbers like this on my counts sheets before ha. My body was working extremely hard those three days so I decided to be less angry with it for putting me through so much pain.

That chemo treatment seemed to last forever, I just wanted to go home and get back in bed. But thankfully as always it did end and I could cross another number off of my countdown. 4 down, 8 more to go!! One third of the way done, woohoo! I spent the rest of the day in bed drugged on oxycodine and just resting.  My parents and friends were checking in and sending texts to help ease the pain. One of my best friends who lives in Florida went to Disney World and sent me pictures throughout the day of where she was going and videos so it was like I was there. We are both huge Disney lovers so that was a lot of fun. By Saturday evening I was feeling much better. I had my usual tiredness and nausea from the chemo but nothing too bad.

On Sunday morning I woke up and felt a world of a difference. I still was tired but I did not feel nauseas and I felt like I could actually get out of bed. This has been the best chemo recovery I have had yet. My friend Heidi was having a cookout that day to celebrate the warm weather and I actually felt up to going. Sunday was a great day! I spent it sitting in the sun with friends, can not ask for much better. I have continued to feel a lot better than I usually have after chemo. I am not sure if it is because my body is getting more used to it or because I felt like so much crap before that this is a cake walk, but whatever the reason I'll take it. I have only had to take my nausea medicine once since Saturday woohoo and I actually feel like eating.

The past week and a half has gone really well so far! I am hoping this will last until my next chemo on friday and I will get two good weeks to make up for not getting a good one last chemo round. My weekly check up last Tuesday found my counts in good standing except my blood platelets. I swear, its always something. If they fell any lower I would have to get a blood transfusion so they scheduled me to come back in last thursday to check my vitals again. Well in good news my platelets went up so no blood transfusion, woohoo, buuutttt my white blood count and neutrophils went down down. My white blood count was .6 and my neutrophils were .1, a new low. I should start taking bets on what my counts are haha. So I was back to being extremely neutropenic. BUT they did not give me the shot again. Apparently the one I had the week before is supposed to be long lasting so they wouldnt give it to me again then. Wooohooo!! Sounded good to me.

That whole experience, the possibility of needing a blood transfusion, made me think a lot about donating blood. I have donated blood in the past but usually I think about it going to some traumatic situation where someone is losing a lot of blood quickly. I never really thought about the fact there are people going through chemo and other health issues that may need new blood. That is a looootttttt of people. It was one of many "duh amber" moments Ive had through this haha. I've always known there is a major need for people to donate blood but it never really hit me until now just how big of a need it really is. So if you are able, donate blood! You never know when you may need a transfusion yourself.

I have continued to feel pretty good since Thursday. I have not gotten too nauseas and have felt pretty normal. However the weekends when I am neutropenic but feeling physically well, like this last one, are always mentally hard. I want to go out with my friends and do different things but I am stuck away from people. I luckily had a friend visiting from out of town this weekend which was nice and made the days a lot easier to get through. When I was alone for most of Saturday I decided to get over the woes me stuff and spend the time trying to better myself. So I went for a walk. I have done a few workouts here and there, mainly resistance training, but nothing cardio really since starting chemo. I usually set very high goals for myself, sometimes too high, instead of starting low and taking it step by step but going through all of this I knew I could not do that now. So I made my goal 1 mile. Considering how winded I get after walking up a few flights of stairs (I consider stairs a chemo patient's hell) I figured this in itself would be a lofty goal. But after 1 mile I was still feeling good so I decided to keep going. I made it to 3 miles when I decided to stop. I was so excited I made it that far. It amazes me to think back at how this time last year I was running my second half marathon and now I was getting excited because I could walk 3 miles. I do not think I will ever take for granted my physical capabilities again. So I have decided to sign up for a 5k at some point this summer with the hopes to run it. I think this walk proved its an attainable goal and who knows maybe I will surpass it but its exciting to have some kind of race in my future again.

Today I went in again to check my vitals and my platelets are way up, woohoo, my white blood cell count is up more than it was at 1.7 and my neutrophils were higher at .6. I am still neutropenic, booooo, but it was not low enough to need a shot, woohoo!! I will have my 5th round of chemo this Friday. So that's where we are!! I am trying to focus on the great news about the cancer being gone and take all the other days as they come. I am very very happy about it but I am still anxious and not looking forward to the next four months. But everyday is a step closer to the end and I am so very grateful for having 8 days now of feeling pretty good!!!

Thank you all so much for your thoughts and prayers through all of this!! It really helps me knowing I have such a great support system.